Medically the review by Timothy J. Legg, Ph.D., CRNP — created by crystal Raypole on October 27, 2020
General tipsIf they’re far awayIf you they can’t talkIf the shortcut is brokenIf castle an exIf they’ve pass awayTakeaway

Humans space by nature social creatures. Most civilization crave some level of intimacy, companionship, and lasting connection with others.

On the other side the connection, however, lies loneliness. As soon as you can’t view or speak to who you treatment about, the pains of their absence and lingering storage of her time together can take increase residence in her heart.

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Sometimes, you deserve to solve the trouble of lacking someone by choose up the phone call or dropping by because that a visit. But it’s no always possible to reconnect, and the result feelings the loss and also sadness have the right to start to construct up to the allude where they start to overshadow every facet of your everyday life.

Ruminating on loneliness normally won’t do lot to relieve your distress, yet these 17 advice can help you cope much more effectively, even if it is you’re absent an ex or grieving the ns of a close family members member.


General advice for any situation

If you care for someone and also enjoy security time through them, the only organic to mourn their lack when castle leave. Even a momentary separation isn’t always easy come bear.

Take care of yourself

Tending to emotional wounds is just as essential as treating physical ones. You could not require stitches or an ice cream pack, however a little self-compassion can go a long means toward healing your pain.

You’ve competent a loss, and also you’ll likely need time to change before feeling favor yourself again. Dealing with yourself v kindness by practicing good self-care can aid you make it through this adjustment period an ext easily.

Self-care for emotional distress might include:

setting aside sufficient time because that restful sleep each nightchoosing nourishing, mood-boosting foodsgetting in part exercise — long walks are good for processing complicated feelingsreaching out to love ones for emotionally support

Make time come sit through your feelings

Ignoring the pain of lacking someone might seem favor a good way to get rid of it, yet avoidance usually has the opposite effect. Emotions room persistent, and the distress you assumed you buried can come bubbling ago up, in ~ times when you feeling unprepared to face it.

There’s nothing wrong with absent someone and feeling sad about your loss. It’s additionally common to want to escape this feelings. Who wants to experience pain?

Yet research study from 2010 says that accepting negative emotions may assist relieve the distress they deserve to cause. Preventing them, on the other hand, could contribute to worsened mental health symptoms, including depression.

Of course, you most likely don’t want to let your distress take it over your day.

Instead, uncover some quiet time whereby you can investigate her feelings:

Accept whatever emotions — love, regret, fury — come up there is no judgment.Explore your emotions to better understand whereby they come from.Encourage you yourself with optimistic self-talk. “This is hard, yet it will obtain better” may have a more positive impact than “They left. Gain over that already.”

Interact v others

“Missing” describes a unique loneliness felt for one person, therefore it’s regular to feel together if no one else can fill the empty room in her heart.

Yet various other friends and loved ones can offer compassion, empathy, and other emotional support. They deserve to simply hear or odor you through suggesting tasks that take her mind off her loneliness.

Spending time v others also reminds you come cherish other social connections and relationships.

Even striking increase a conversation with human being you conference in daily life — whether that’s a shipment driver or others stuck in the same lengthy line — could assist promote feelings of belonging and happiness.

Participating in social tasks and community groups can also assist relieve loneliness and also lead to brand-new connections.

Though safety time with others might not ease her longing entirely, companionship can still assist lift your spirits — if girlfriend let it.

Immerse yourself in something you enjoy

Hobbies and other enjoyable tasks can provide positive distractions that aid you cope v the pain of missing someone until it starts to fade.

It may help much more to focus on your own interests for currently rather than previously common hobbies. When the sting the their absence is quiet fresh, you could find it difficult to go it alone on things you supplied to carry out together.

In need of a brand-new hobby? Try:

home advancement projects, like paint an accent wall or restoring a piece of old furnitureart or craft projects, like collaging, painting, photography, or scrapbookingcreative writingbirdwatching, hiking, or other outdoor activities

Even once you know you’ll watch the human being you’re lacking eventually, you might still feeling pretty bereft appropriate now. Time can seem to drag, making it daunting to turn your attention towards anything else together you counting the days.

Schedule a far hangout

Staying in touch is key, whether you’re be separate by a continent, a few states, or COVID-19 protocols.

Chatting via message messages, telephone, and video clip chat might not bring the very same feelings of fulfillment together face-to-face interaction, yet virtual communication can help you feel much more connected together you wait out the separation. Planning regular times to “meet” offers you something come look front to.

In in between virtual hangouts, why not try writing a letter come tell them they’re in your thoughts?

Handwritten letters might seem old-fashioned, however they market a an excellent way to share feelings. Due to the fact that you can not hit the backspace button, that becomes more important to focus on your thoughts together you write and choose words the truly convey her emotions.

Embrace reminders and mementos

During consistent periods that separation — if you in a long-distance relationship, for example — keeping a couple of of your belongings around your home can help remind you they’ll return before long.

Even as soon as you know, logically, the the street won’t last forever, everyday reminders can still help cement this fact in her awareness, making her separation more bittersweet than just bitter.

Toss your sweater over the ago of the armchair, usage their shampoo occasionally, play their favorite album, and also let a few of their publications linger on the coffee table. That way, they tho feel present in your life, even if lock temporarily away.

Get earlier in touch through yourself

Many human being in romantic relationships and also close friendships finish up law a the majority of things together, which periodically leaves you with much less time because that yourself.

Everyone requirements some alone time top top occasion. If a short-term separation have the right to leave you lonely, it also provides the chance for some self-discovery.

Take this possibility to pursue brand-new interests or things you enjoy that her loved one doesn’t, whether that’s a solo camping pilgrimage or a weekend solely devoted to art films.


Missing someone you can’t call often proves even more painful. Perhaps their occupational takes them somewhere without phone business or they’re handling a significant illness. Or probably you both determined it was time because that a break.

Whatever the reason, it i do not care even much more important to take it time come acknowledge and also manage her feelings, top top your own or with support from who else.

If the inability to attach physically or remotely has actually you feeling down, try:

meditation to assist ease distressexpressing emotions v journaling, drawing, or musickeeping track of think to share laterfocusing on optimistic memories, such as mutual jokes or trips you take it together

You might additionally consider law something kind, one of two people for her loved one or because that someone rather in their honor.

Kindness to rather can an increase your the atmosphere and help you feel more connected to other people and humanity in general. A kind act in anticipation of her loved one’s return also sends the article that friend care.

One last note: If girlfriend can’t speak to someone since you’ve i agreeed to protect against contacting each various other for a while, make certain to respect those limits you set. Save track of her thoughts in newspaper or unsent letters fairly than giving in come the temptation to reach out.


Sometimes, lacking someone can provide rise to other complicated emotions. Perhaps you no much longer speak come them because they hurt friend or betrayed her trust.

Along with absent the pleasure you once shared, you might additionally feel guilty or upset at you yourself for caring about someone who led to you pain.

Love is complex, simply as people are, and also it’s not unusual for your longing come linger, despite the knowledge you’re much better off avoiding contact.

You could know you can’t maintain any type of relationship with a parent who abused you, a friend that didn’t want to deal with toxic behavior, or a partner who cheated — however still feel love towards them at the same time.

Instead of denying her pain, it’s necessary to discuss and work through those feelings. Rod to her decision to reduced off contact and also keep a newspaper or talk through someone you to trust instead.

When coping strategies don’t offer much relief, a good next step might involve reaching out for professional support. Finishing a relationship have the right to leave friend reeling, but a therapist can assist you discover ways to deal with with missing someone who no longer in her life and address the ache of the original injury.


Relationships don’t constantly work out. Periodically they finish so disastrously the you know there’s no possibility also of friendship. Even so, you’ll probably still miss your ex. You can even miss them more if you recognize they’re completely out of her life.

This is completely normal. You likely spent a lot of time with them over the food of your relationship and also got used to their company. Nevertheless of the factors behind your breakup, this loss deserve to be challenging to accept.

Take time come process

Missing an ex doesn’t mean you should rush right ago into the relationship. Possibilities are, you broke up for part pretty an excellent reasons. Probably you can work things out and reconnect eventually, yet it’s essential you both take time (separately) come heal.

Unless you’ve parted on good terms after a familiar breakup, try to protect against contact. Create down something you desire to say instead and also save it for later.

Cultivate new connections

Devoting her social time to world and activities you find fulfilling and enjoyable have the right to take her mind off lacking your ex when reinforcing the truth that you have the right to absolutely heal and also move forward.

Also, think about that doing the very same things girlfriend did with your ex, just on your own, have the right to magnify the emotion of loss. Changing up your regime by trying new jogging paths, shopping at a different grocery store, or recognize a brand-new show to watch can assist you shiver the feeling they have to be there, too.

Here room nine other tips for coping post-breakup.


Death, the ultimate loss, is typically the hardest to bear. After a breakup or estrangement, girlfriend might adopt the possibility of future reconciliation, but the finality of death can leave you feeling as if you’ll miss out on your loved one always.

Some measure up of grief might linger, however time often helps lull the pain. In the meantime, try to focus on the joy they added to her life:

Spend time in locations they enjoyed, favor a favorite park.Order takeout from their favorite restaurant.Plant a tree or flower together a memorial.Write castle a letter reminiscing around shared experiences.Revisit old picture or videos to feel closer to them.

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Grief have the right to be an overwhelming to regulate alone. If absent your love one becomes unbearable to the suggest where it starts to impact your day-to-day life and also relationships, a therapist deserve to offer compassionate support and guidance on handling the loss and also managing grief in productive ways.